Have you ever felt really confident that you felt like you can do anything? Have you ever felt not confident at all that it felt like you couldn’t do anything? That is because you either trusted yourself or you didn’t trust yourself. Confident comes from the Latin word confidere, meaning to have full trust. So people who are confident are people who have full trust in others and in themselves.
“I Wasn’t Born Confident, So I Will Never Be Confident”
No one, not even Brad Pitt was born confident. Confidence is a muscle that has to be trained. For it to grow stronger, you must work on your confidence. Lets take an example of someone who has to present in front of a crowd. Most people would rather cut off a limb or die than to speak in front of an audience. You think people who spoke in front of an audience were confident the first time they went up in front of the crowd? No way, they were as nervous as anyone would be first time talking in front of crowd of people. That is because of their confidence. So how do we train this confidence? Go up in front of the crowd and speak. Do it as often times as possible. This is how you get the confidence to publicly speak.
Once you speak in front of an audience a bunch of times, your confidence will start to go up and you will feel more confident and more confident, every time you go up to speak in front of a large audience. Your confidence has to be trained in each aspect of your life. In talking to the opposite sex, playing a sport, speaking, driving a car, working out, anything, you name it. You need confidence to do anything in life. Lets take Michael Jordan for an example, I can bet you he wasn’t always confident playing basketball. He didn’t just step on the hoop court and just came confident shooting basketball, he had to work on his skills to become confident at playing basketball.
So confidence has to be trained and worked on. You don’t just become confident and then you stay confident. You have to keep working on it. If I do public speeches for 5 years straight and then stop for 10 years and then do a public speech after 10 years, I will more than likely have the same amount of confidence as I had when I first begin publicly speaking. That is zero confidence. Your confidence goes down, the less you do something. Now it won’t take as long to build it back up after 5 years of training in the past but it will still need some work to get the confidence back up to where it was left at.
So lets cut right to it and talk about the 7 ways to become more confident today with an added bonus at the end.
7 Ways To Become More Confident Today:
1.Visualize Yourself As The Confident Person You Want To Be.
Take 10-15 minutes today and close your eyes and visualize yourself as the person you want to be. I don’t mean picture yourself as someone else, picture yourself as confident. Visualize yourself walking confident, talking confident, and just being confident. If you need some help, take a celebrity that you see as confident and take their traits and visualize yourself having their confident traits. I like to use Iron Man as an example, he is very confident. You can use whoever you want, but just visualize yourself with their confident traits.
2. Face Your Fears.
You know who the most confident people are? The one’s who take the most risk in life. The one’s who experiment the most in life. The one’s who go outside of their comfort zone the most. Let’s say you are really scared of asking your boss for a raise or asking someone out on a date. When you don’t face your fears, your confidence starts to lower. This is because every time you see your boss or the person you like, you know you want to ask your boss for a raise and you know you want to ask that person out on a date. The more you don’t face your fears, the weaker you become. Once you face your fears, succeeding or failing, you become more confident. Now a weight is off your shoulders and your mind is more clear because you faced your fears. It’s like the people who come off stage from speaking to a crowd people, they feel much more confident because they faced their fears.
They have more trust in themselves now.
3. Trust Yourself
Trust whatever you do is going to workout smoothly. When talking to people, trust that the words coming out of your month is going to come out smooth and confident. That is when you reach a higher level of confidence. When you trust that whatever you do, it will all work out. Trust that every action you take is going to be the best action you have taken. Don’t question any action or words spoken, once they have been done. Trust Thyself.
4. Change Your Body Language.
Body language is an important thing for your mental and physical confidence. All feelings start in the body first then in the mind. An example of this was when I was out shopping and I started to feel scared and anxious randomly, I didn’t know why. Then I decided to fix my body language to straightening my spine, putting my hands behind my back, tilting my head slightly up and walking at a slow calm pace. Just doing a simple body language fix to a confident pose, I immediately felt my mental state shift from scared and anxious to confident and calm.
Studies have shown that people who put their hands on their hips(superman pose) before an interview has shown their cortisol (stress hormone) levels decreased significantly. Resulting in them feeling relaxed and confident before entering their interview. So body language is key for making you feel more confident.
5. Do Things For Others
Now you are probably wondering how does this make me more confident? I am here to tell you that this does make you much more confident. Any time you take time out of your day to do something for someone else, like texting them a kind message, buying them something to eat, even just helping them with their problems, you feel better because making a difference in someone’s day will give you gratitude for your life, resulting in your feeling more confident about yourself.
Society focuses too much on themselves. When you focus on making someone else’s day better, in return you make your day better too. It’s the law of exchange. To get, you must give.
Do something for someone everyday without looking for a reaction or something in return and see how much your confidence goes up.
6. Change Your Self-Limiting Beliefs.
Let me ask you a question:
-Can you play the piano?
-Can you draw a picture of car?
-Can you ride a dirt bike?
-Can you golf?
If you answered any of those questions with “I can’t” then you got some self-limiting beliefs. How do you know you can’t play the piano or golf? You never tried it before. The self-limiting belief is telling yourself you can’t do something. When in reality, those who say they can’t and the people that say they can, are both right. If you can get the mind to believe it, your body will find a way to make it happen.
“But I tried playing the piano and golf and I am not good at it”.
Do you think Tiger Woods walked onto the gold course and just become a legendary golfer and won the masters? Of course not, he practices everyday. Do you think Michael Jordan just got on the basketball court and was an amazing player? No, he practiced everyday. Do you think Michelangelo just started painting and seconds later became the world’s best painter? No, he works on mastering his craft. You can even practice and train your voice to become a good singer. You just have to get rid of that mental blockage, that self-limiting beliefs. These are the things that are making you insecure.
Change your “I can’ts” to “I can” or “Lets find out”.
Then you have people who think they are going to remain single for the rest of their life. They think they can’t get the girl or guy of their dreams because of their looks or their personality when in reality, you can be with anyone you want to be with. You just have to get rid of your self-limiting beliefs. You can be whatever you want and be with whoever you want.
7. Look The Part. Dress Confident
Let me ask you a question:
When do you think most girls and guys post pictures on Instagram?
Guys and girls post pictures on social media when they are wearing a new outfit or got a new haircut. That is when they are most confident, in a new outfit or fresh hair or a new hair color. You never see a person post a picture of themselves on the internet with their hair looking all raggedy and long. It’s always when it’s a fresh new hair cut or new hair style.
I know for me I immediately become more confident when I get a fresh haircut and when I put on a leather jacket I like. So if you want to be confident you must dress the confident part. No one is going to feel confident wearing baggy grey sweat pants with a faded baggy sweatshirt, it’s just not happening.
Getting dressed up in a new outfit will immediately boost your confidence. If you don’t believe me, go out and buy a new fresh outfit from your favorite store and go out and put it on. I guarantee you will feel confident.
So if you want to feel confident, you must look and dress confident.
BONUS FOR READING TO THE END:
Bonus Way To Become More Confident:
Raise Your Tonality Up 25%.
By raising your tonality up, all your interactions will be more exciting. People will listen to you more and respect you more because of your tonality. Confident people talk clear and loud enough so people can hear them. Insecure people talk really quiet, so no one can here them. They don’t want to be heard or noticed. People can tell just by your tonality if you are a confident person or not. So raise your tonality up by 25% and see how your conversations with people change and how your confidence increases.
Do these simple things, and watch your confident shoot through the roof.