Why Dreams And Fantasies Kill Your REality

How many of you reading this have a dream? An even better and harder question is: Are you living the life that you dream of? In this article we are going to discuss why some people are living the life they dream and why some people aren’t.

The Most Cliche Saying Ever

The most cliche saying ever that drives me nuts when I hear it is “chase your dreams.” I bet you have heard that saying many times throughout your life. This phrase “chase your dreams” has done nothing for everyone who has heard it. This saying “chase your dreams” makes you become stagnant and complacent. It makes you complacent because it satisfies you, it makes you feel like you are actively chasing your dreams even when you haven’t done nothing but imagine your dream. The imagining goes on and on, causing you to not take any action towards your dreams.

We are only passengers of this earth. On this train of life, most people have the shades closed. What I mean by most people have their shades closed or pulled down is that they are living in their heads most of their life. In other words, they are only fantasying and dreaming of the life they want to have, and not actually living it.

Why Dreams Kill Your Reality

One of my dreams was to be a book writer and publish a book. I always thought it would so cool to be known as an author or a writer. There is probably a lot of people who want to be book writers, maybe even you reading this, want to be a book writer. The method I took to become an author was not to “chase my dream” but to chase my reality. The reality of it is that I never wrote a book in my life, I didn’t do too well writing in high school besides for one of my college writing classes, I’m not actually a good writer, and more importantly I’m an unknown writer, and who will actually buy this book. This was just my reality.

After listing all of these obstacles I just listed above, most people will tell you to chase or find another dream because you have all the odds stacked against you. This is the reality of most writers who set out to publish a book. The reality of it is that I need to work on my writing everyday. You aren’t born a good writer, you are made into a good writer. Your first book is probably going to flop and probably stink. Most first time writers won’t become a best selling author until like the 3rd or 4th published book.

The reality of becoming a best selling author is not the best writing author, it’s the best selling author. It’s the person who sells the most books who become a best selling author. Besides for the writing, the marketing of the book is just as important. That’s why celebrities who read and publish their first book become a best selling author because they have team to market and sell their book to hundreds of thousands of people. Versus Joe Smoe who lives on your block.

Don’t Chase Your Dreams, Chase Your Reality!

This is a very different concept than to what you have been fed majority of your life. We were alway told to chase our dreams but a better advice would be to chase your reality. If you want to become a professional public speaker, you can’t just dream about it, you must chase the reality of it. Let’s say your reality is that you are terrified of speaking in front of an audience and when you do, your voice shakes and you talk too fast and unclear because you want to get it over with. The reality of being a public speaker for you is to get comfortable speaking in front of anyone and any type of crowd size. So instead of killing your dream of being a public speaker, you need to accept your reality that it’s going to take work to be good at speaking in public. You can’t just fantasize and dream about it, you have to actually work on your speaking everyday, and try as often to speak in front of small people to help you increase your skills.

The sad part about this is that most people will just choose the path of least resistance and less rewarding because they don’t want to face the reality that they aren’t as good of a public speaker as they thought.

Endless Childhood Dreams

That’s why most of us look back into our childhood and miss the old days of having endless dreams and fantasies. We think as a kid we can be whatever we want and our dreams go wild because to young kids, the fantasies are everything. As the time goes on people grow grumpy and sad because their dreams get wiped out by reality. “You’re too short to be in the NBA, you’re too slow to play hockey, you’re too uncoordinated to become a professional skater, your voice is too nasally to be a singer, and on and on. Some of us have the dream of one day going to space but the reality of going to space is very hard and only a handful of people actually make it to space. This doesn’t mean that it’s not possible for you, it just means that it’s going to be very challenging. This is the exact point where people quit and don’t even start, when they realize how much work it’s going to take to achieve the dream of going to space.

Instead of seeking our dream we had as a child, we just continue the fantasy in our heads as we grow older, never realizing our dreams.

The Battle You Must Win Everyday

The battle you must win everyday is your dreams against your reality. It is always best to choose your reality and let your dreams and fantasies fuel your reality.

To further explain what I mean by chase your reality, here’s a quote from Chris Nolan’s speech to Princeton graduating class: “I feel that over time, we started to view reality as the poor cousin to our dreams, in a sense. … I want to make the case to you that our dreams, our virtual realities, these abstractions that we enjoy and surround ourselves with — they are subsets of reality.” What I got from his speech is that only reality matters, you can have all the dreams and aspirations you want but if you don’t chase your reality, you will never live your dream.

This is why a lot of people don’t find love, don’t live near the beach, don’t travel the world like they always wanted to, don’t become a famous actor, don’t become rich, and why they don’t live the life they are want. All because they are too stuck “chasing” their dreams, rather than chasing their reality. You let your dream girl or guy walk by you, and you let all these opportunities simply walk by you everyday because you are like the passenger on the train with the shades closed, stuck in your head. The reality of marrying your dream lover is having to get uncomfortable and actually start a conversation with them. It won’t go as planned and as you envisioned it in your head and that just the reality of it.

We simply insult our reality because we are stuck in this fantasy world of screens. Instead of looking out the window, we are looking at the TV. Instead of talking to someone, we are sending them a text message. Instead of hanging out with someone, we are FaceTiming them. This is simply a virtual life and not reality.

We sit at our boring regular job staring out the window or at the wall daydreaming about one day becoming this, one day becoming that, one day living here or there, one day marrying her or him, one day having this or that. This daydreaming keeps us satisfied like someone who just ate a big dinner. So we go on daydreaming of the life we dream of having for the rest of our lives and not actually living the life we desire.

The Reason We Stay Stuck Dreaming In Our Heads.

People stay stuck dreaming in their heads because in their heads their dream reality is perfect. And in reality, it’s not so perfect. Reality is very imperfect. We have this dream of starting a clothing brand or a podcast and it’s often times so perfect in our heads. We envision our clothing brand taking off, we see our podcast having millions of listeners. So you decide to start to podcast in hope of being like Joe Rogan and then to your surprise, you find out pretty quickly that after 5 podcast episodes, you only have 30 views per episode. This is where most people get off of the high horse and quit. Their dream has been killed by their reality. But in reality, you only killed your dreams because you quit. So this conditions us to have more fear of achieving anything extraordinary because we don’t want to get crushed by reality. Resulting in going back to the safe life and never trying to pursue our dreams again.

It’s just like someone who dreams of being a professional hockey player. It’s all sunshine and rainbows when you are learning and reading about hockey. You go out to buy all your expensive gear. Then you go to your first hockey practice and you get boarded into the glass an immense amount of times. So you end up going home, hanging up your skates and just watching hockey on TV like everyone else. Rather than chasing your reality that if you want to be a professional hockey player, it’s going to take hundreds of hours of practicing to be good at it. To be quite frank, the training will never stop because there will always be someone better than you out there.

The antidote to a taking your dreams to not the grave with you is chasing your reality. Don’t stare out your office window dreaming about the life you want to have, face your reality of it. There is going to be blood, sweat, tears, and setbacks, but as long as you keep chasing your reality, you will eventually live the life you dream of.


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