Disclaimer: This Article Is Only For A Mature Audience, 18 Years Or Older Is Required To Read This Article
Despite your preconceived notion, this article is for women too, not just for men. When most people think of pornography they think about only men watching it or at least men are the only ones to admit watching it. The truth is 1 of every 3 women watch porn. With that being said, this article is for both genders. Although you will read about a lot of viewpoints and observations from a man’s standpoint since a man is writing this article.
When you take a step back to look at the whole picture, the only reason sex exist on earth is for 2 things. The first thing is to create a deep connection and bond with your partner. To make your relationship connection stronger and have deep intimate bond. The second thing sex is for is to procreate and bring a child onto this earth. Sex is not for pleasure, sure it can be pleasureful but it’s not the main purpose of it.
Is Porn Addicting?
Porn is the most viewed thing on the internet. When pornography was first brought to the internet, the users skyrocketed to over millions of user in under 3 days back in the late 1990s. Versus other things like Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. These other platforms took many years to gain millions of users.
Porn hijacks your dopamine by constantly introducing you to new things, new models, new scenes, new situations and so on. This hijacks your dopamine by constantly keeping it at a high rush. There was even a study done on male rats. Male rats only made love with the female rat a certain amount of times until the male rat got bored and unmotivated. But when they put a new female rat in the cage the male rat got jolts of energy and aroused again.
Porn is as addictive as drugs. According to studies, porn shows the same changes in the brain as drugs do similar to morphine and cocaine.
Why Porn Destroys Your Love Life?
Although porn and drugs are very similar when it comes to the changes in the brain and addictiveness, the biggest difference is that drugs make you crave more of the drug and porn makes you crave new stimuli. Porn makes you crave new models, new scenes, and new types of porn. If you aren’t feeling aroused watching porn, you will look for something new on the website and eventually it will make you aroused again, constantly spiking your dopamine up.
A similar thing happens with your love life when the user is watching porn during their relationship. Being with their lover becomes dull and boring when someone is obsessively watching porn. In reality you can’t just click a new tab or new category for your relationship. This is why people in relationships will cheat or seek out a new lover. The divorce rate double ever since porn got introduced on the internet. According to Psychology Today.com, Dr. Jill Manning said that 56 percent of divorce cases involved one party having an obsessive interest in pornographic websites. Another survey reported 68% of divorces were from porn.
So instead of craving more of your partner like a drug user, you crave a new partner. This is because your brain likes novelty, which in other words means new.
Real VS Fake
Another issue is that your brain can’t tell the difference between a real person and a person on the internet. Your brain lights up the same way to a naked person on the internet and a naked person in real life. This creates problems because over time your brain starts to crave the girls or men on the internet over an actual human being. Porn also creates unrealistic standards for the user. On the internet they only present you with the hottest men and the hottest women, and by default you only choose the hottest people on porn sites. This type of choosing bleeds into your love life. Studies show that viewing porn makes you more critical of your partner and less satisfied with your romantic relationship and sex life.
It’s like this, if I only served you the best tasting steak(porn) ever for months and then you went back to eating pork(your partner), you aren’t going to like it as much. Although the steak is not real, you can still taste it and it leaves you full. The pork is real but doesn’t doesn’t taste as good as the steak and you are still full in the end. So after months of eating the best steak in the world, when have your pork again, your mouth doesn’t salivate like it used it when it first ate the pork. To explain further, what I mean by the steak and pork reference is that the porn will make you more aroused than your partner because it’s only showing you the hottest and greatest things. Porn can keep introducing new scenes and models when your dopamine rush starts to drop, to get it back up to high levels. This creates a cycle of only searching for pleasure and not actually wanting a companionship.
The Undiagnosed Cause Of Erectile Dysfunction In Men
I have heard horror stories and I know people who can’t get an erection during sex in their 20s. There is a book called Your Brain On Porn by Gary Wilson and he talks about porn-induced ED. Where young men can’t get an erection from too much porn usage. And some men can only get aroused from porn. Let me say this loud and clear, if you are in your 20s or 30s and can’t get an erection during sex and it’s common for you, then you have porn-inducted ED. I promise if you give up watching porn for a couple weeks, you won’t that problem anymore. No young man should have to take viagra. Put the porn down.
Why A lot Of People Prefer Porn Over The Real Thing
The reason why I believe a lot of people prefer watching porn over being with a real partner is because it’s effortless. It’s instant gratification, a few clicks and you are good. There is no performance anxiety, no possible rejection, no dinner dates, nothing, just click, click, and you’re good. You get a pleasurable experience without having to have any performance anxiety or without having to put in any effort to score a partner. And more importantly it’s free. We all know nothing is better than the real thing but a lot of people are settling for the fake and it’s quite sad. Or maybe you had a few bad experiences with a partner, so you go hide behind a computer screen.
Porn Skews Your Perception Of Beauty
This section hurts me deeply because it speaks personally to my heart. Porn skews your perception of beauty. Take a look at your social media feed, you will see more and more people basically posting pics of them half naked because this is what society likes, all because of porn. Porn makes you only be attracted to half naked women with breast implants and men with 6 packs and muscles. It really raises your standard and ruins your view on real beauty. You no longer find your straight A student with glasses and who is faith beautiful. You find the bad, cheating person who dresses half naked more attractive.
Why this speaks to my heart and hurts me is because I dated this one girl and she was easily the most beautiful I have ever laid my eyes on and even my family and friends says that was/is so beautiful. But during our relationship I didn’t find her as attractive anymore. Despite her being such a germ of a woman, I started to neglect her and treat her more as an object than as a beautiful girl. I lost attraction in her all because I was watching porn too much during our relationship. The only time I felt deep attraction towards her was in the beginning of our relationship and the 2 weeks I didn’t have access to the internet. Crazy right? Porn skewed my perception on what was beautiful to me. This caused me to seek out another relationship.
The Unknown Attachment
For some this topic on porn being bad is foreign to them because for a lot of people porn was their first sexual encounter. So they have created a deep attachment to it. They will only seek on articles, posts, and videos explaining why porn is good for you and why you should keep watching it. This is called a confirmation bias.
The Truth About Orgasms
What I’m about to say is going to sound crazy to you. If you didn’t have an orgasm ever again, you will be okay. You don’t physically need to have an orgasm or ejaculate. Your body doesn’t need to release sperm at all because it will get reabsorbed back into your body and use it for vital nutrients. I believe that it would be better to never orgasm again than to orgasm everyday. Because besides for having a child, you are just wasting your vital energy through ejaculation. Your body uses all it’s good vitamin and minerals when you ejaculate because your body thinks it’s about to create another life, so we might as well give all of our best vitamins, minerals, and proteins. So you are losing vital nutrients, but this topic of semen retention is for another article.
I promise if you would stop watching porn or looking at anything sexual online for at least a month, you will see your attraction towards your lover increase so much.
What porn does for the user is make sex strictly about pleasuring yourself and not about connection and pleasuring your partner. It makes you selfish and it makes you keep secrets from your partner. So now the trust between you and your lover goes away. If you are hiding things from your partner, then you will assume they are hiding things from you because we think everyone is like us.
My Personal Experience With Quitting Porn
My Brutal Truth: Every relationship I have ever been involved in the past was ruined by porn. Each one ended because of my addiction to porn. Not because these girls knew I was watching it but because of how I changed towards them from watching it.
I quit porn over 2 years and it has been life changing. I will say this with 100% truth, that everything I have accomplished in the last 2 years was from not watching porn and practicing semen retention. My body now pulses with creativity and sexual energy, and this energy is powerful. The energy that I’ve harness is the exact energy that was used to bring you and I into this world.
Also the biggest thing I’ve notice when it comes to relationships and women is that I stopped objectifying women for their bodies. I stopped looking at women as tool for pleasure and this alone been an incredible thing because now I just simply talk to women for them, not because I want to get them in bed. Women also have become more beautiful to me, like a flower. Another thing I’ve noticed is that I started to look for what I want in a relationship rather than what I want in a woman. Porn made me look at women as a buffet, only picking out what I want in a woman. But now I focus on what I want in a relationship and what I want for my kids down the road. It has truly been life changing.
I recommend you try quitting porn yourself and see how it changes your life.
Thanks for reading 🙂
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