We all value our friends, we would even call some of our friends family. Our friends are people who we spent most of our lives with, especially the ones you meet when you’re older. I never really worried about who I hung out with until I noticed something different in my brother awhile ago.
When he went away for school for four years, he was a different person. He was a frat boy who lived the true college life. Picture a college frat boy and how they act, then you will picture my brother. Nothing is wrong with a being a frat boy, that was just the persona he taken on up at his college. I even noticed he acted different when we hung out while he was at college.
It wasn’t until he graduated and came back home, when I noticed another change in him. Everyone in my parents house does their own thing. It’s a more grounded house, where everything seems to be in order and everyone was eating healthy and getting their life together. When he came home from college for good, he brought the wreck less personality with him for the first couple months. He was still the same person he was up at college for the first couple months, not really caring about his health and still trying to party every weekend.
Then after some exposure to his new environment and being around people who were prioritizing their health and went to bed early, and got up early, he eventually changed. He took on the goals and motives of the people he was around in a matter of a couple months. His ambitions and motives changed due to his environmental change. He started going to bed early and getting up early with his family, eating healthier and he stop going out every weekend. He took on the habits and ambitions of everyone is his environment.
YOU BECOME A PRODUCT OF YOUR ENVIRONMENT.
If a deer spends a majority of it’s life with lions and the lions take care of the deer for some time, the deer will eventually roar due to it’s environmental exposure.
The people you are around, that is who you become.
It’s very important that you take a step back from your friends for a moment to evaluate them.
Are Your Friends Serving Your Goals And Ambitions?
If you aren’t even remotely close to where you desire to be in life then it’s more than likely that your friends aren’t pushing you towards your goals. They are unintentionally holding you back.
HERE’S ANOTHER IMPORTANT QUESTION:
What Are Your Friends Goals And Ambitions?
It’s important that you take a moment to first ask yourself what you think your friends goals and ambitions are and then ask your friends themselves what their goals and ambitions are so you are get a clear picture of what they are. It’s critical that you understand what they are because eventually you will have the same goals and ambitions as them.
Being around people who want similar things as you in life and are actively making it come to life is important. I know a lot of people who say they want to be financially free but 98% of them aren’t doing anything to take even the tiniest step forward. They are just being reactive to it.
Are Your Goals And Ambitions Aligned With Your Friends?
If not then you might need new friends. If you continue to hang around with people who have different goals than you, you will put down your own goals and take on your friends goals. Just like if all your friends are going to school to get a degree and then get a job and your goal is to make your own way starting a company, eventually you will put your goal aside and follow your friends. Or if you want to go to school and they all want to start a shoe business, you will eventually quit school in trade for wanting to start your own business. You become your friends.
Have your friends ever had like a catch phrase or a type of lingo and after you spend a lot of time with them, you start unconsciously using their catch phrases and start talking like them? This is because YOU BECOME WHO YOU HANG AROUND WITH.
My buddy was dating this girl and they both had different lingos. He talked different and she talked different than him. Then after like 6 months into their relationship, I heard her speak and I was stunned by how much she talk like her boyfriend.
“Show Me Your Friends And I’ll Show You Your Future.“
Stanford Prison Experiment
There is this 2 week experiment called Stanford Prison Experiment. The study was to show the psychological difference between prisoners and guards. Philip Zimbardo, the person who conduct the experiment took two groups of psychologically healthy people and made half the group guards and the other half prisoners. They got paid $15 per day. The experiment was to show how people act in a role and different environment. And in the short amount of time the guards started to act hard and brutal due to the environment and uniform. The prisoners will responding in a negative way. A lot of the people in the experiment left half way through because it was too brutal.
These were two groups of nice healthy individuals and the hard prison-like environment changed her actions and thinking. The participants who were guards had it seem like a real prison. The guards were acting like real guards in a real prison and the prisoners were responding like they were actually in a prison being treated bad.
The environment changed every single participant during the experiment. Zimbardo had to cut the experiment short because it was getting too bad.
So the moral of the experiment for the sake of this article is: Can A Evil Environment Make A Good Person Bad?
Absolutely, an evil environment can make a good person bad as it was showed in the Stanford Prison Experiment. Your environment can either make you happy or sad, rich or poor, at peace or unease. Your environment can make you or break you.
So Do You Need New Friends?
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This post has got me thinking that maybe I should look at it as a blessing that my girlfriend and I are on different spectrums of our lives right now. She is doing a lot of partying and I just don’t have room for that in my life right now. My focus needs to be on my family with all that we have going on. Thank you!
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Exactly because eventually you will start partying with her. Even though, partying is not bad at all, it’s just based off of where you want to go in life.
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Everything in moderation!
Thank you. It’s a hard journey though, when you have to leave your friends and make new ones. The isolation one feels is strong. I have made rooms for new friends as my old friends don’t fit into my life any more. But it’s hard because am no longer in my 20s😅. I feel isolated…but I have plenty of time now to grow and occupy myself with things that matter…I guess. Thanks a lot for the post.
It definitely is uncomfortable leaving old friends when you have become almost attached to them. But it’s for the best. Everyone you meet will serve a purpose in your journey to your destiny
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