The other day I was chatting with some fellow coworkers and someone made a joke that was intended to be funny. But the joke was clearly not funny at all and to save the person who was telling the joke from embarrassment and to save us from feeling awkward we all laughed at the non-funny joke.
As I was faking laughing at a non-funny joke, it dawned on me that everyone in the circle faking their laugh including myself are all actors. None of us found the joke funny, but it was almost like we all have been acting our whole life, like we were Jackie Chan.
Are We All Fake?
After doing some reflection and studying people, a question rose above the surface and that is: “are we all fake?” When you are out shopping or at the gym and someone you know who you don’t want to talk to strikes a conversation with you what do you do? A real authentic person will tell that them that they don’t really want to talk to them right now. But in this situation to be authentic is to be rude.
Why Does Being True & Authentic Cause You To Lose Friends?
Today, it’s rare to be true and authentic especially in such a fake society. I personally know one friend that I used to work with who was true and authentic. And because he stayed true to himself he lost a lot of friends unintentionally. For my buddy keeping friends was hard. Although I was one of few that remained friends with him because I admired him for being so authentic.
We both were salesmen at a Best Buy selling electronics to customers. Part of the job was to be good with people and be able to handle them. While my sells went up, my friend’s went down because a customer would ask him a simply question, and he would tell them to go Google it. But someone would ask me and I would be the one to Google it for them.
Although I wanted to tell them the same thing, I didn’t because being authentic was to be rude. My friend told you exact what was on his mind while I filtered my thoughts to only give people the nice ones. This is typical for anyone who wants to succeed in this society.
The Paradox Of Being Liked.
As a whole we all want to be liked and the only way to be liked is to be fake. To be authentic and true to yourself and your feelings and thoughts is to not be liked and have only a small amount of friends. The person who is liked the most is the one who is fake, living a life of contradictory. You tell people exactly how you don’t feel to save face and keep people liking you. To tell someone that their joke was stupid or they are boring to talk to or tell them that they are fat when they ask you if they look fat is social suicide. To be real with everyone is a lonely road.
What If We Were Authentic For 24 Hours?
If we were all authentic for a whole 24 hours, then there would be fights, killings, divorces, and break ups. To say exactly how you feel to everyone you meet and spend time with is suicide to the world as we know it. Instead of keeping things to yourself, you say it and your friendships and relationships die because part of keeping your relationship strong is not telling them everything. We hold things back and keep secrets to protect our relationships.
Why We Are All Actors Playing 101 Different Roles
If you were meeting your lover’s parents or going to a job interview, you aren’t going to act the way you do with your friends or your family. You are going to put your best mask on to get the job or to get your lover’s parents approval of you. If you wore the same authentic mask with everyone, telling them how you felt all the time people would despise you for it.
When someone tells you a stupid joke, you yawn as if it was not a good joke. Someone is talking to you and tell them you don’t like them which is true, you would lose them as a friend. So we act to get people to like us. It’s not that we’re being “fake”, we are just adapting and acting according to the situation and the person.
We Are All Good Actors.
To be a bad actor is to not have a lot of friends and be despised by people you meet. We are acting and we’re not aware of it as it happens.
We imagine we are always being sincere in our social encounters. This is something any good actor will tell you and that it’s the secret behind believable acting. We act differently to suit each person and situation.
Thanks for reading 🙂
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